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True love is an action.


  

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Valentines Day is coming up, so this seems seasonally appropriate.

I've always believed that love is an action. This, of course, stands in stark contrast to the popular Western philosophy of subjectivism and modern culture on the whole.

My belief is that "Love isn't in the falling, it's in the staying." Anyone can fall in love and then out of love. That's not what I'm talking about here. It seems to me that true love - unconditional and committed love - takes action and conscious decision.

So, what do you believe?

Is love an action? Do you choose to love and to remain committed, to work on and invest in the relationship lest it die?

OR

Is love a whimsical and almost random emotion, susceptible to wanton and dramatic changes independent of our conscious or even subconscious input?


From personal experience, I choose to love my wife each day. It takes a great deal of effort to maintain a loving relationship, and we both can feel it when one of us isn't holding up their end of the bargain. Many people disagree, however...

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Coincidentally, I've just today heard an interesting quote about love in bioshock 2.

[quote]"Love is just a chemical. We give it meaning by choice."
Sofia Lamb
Rather, the texter of 2K Marin... probably, unless they copied it <.<[/quote]

I think I'd have to say, it's both. Without meaning, it stays just a chemical. But without the chemical, it's not love.

Edited by Burns
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Well technically speaking it is just chemical. Its a hormone released which I cant remember the complete name of it starts with an O. However the trigger of this hormone differs from person to person which creates those thoughts. As burns said it is a Grey area of the two.

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When you consider love you not only have to consider the ones you may love but also those that you are genetically inclined to love like your family. One of my favorite sayings is the only people in this world you can truly love and hate at the same time are your relatives, because to not love them for bringing you into this world, caring for you, and giving you one half of your outlook on the world(the other half coming from your environment), would in most cases seem utterly insane to most people.

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[quote name='Darigan' timestamp='1296766893' post='78430']
When you consider love you not only have to consider the ones you may love but also those that you are genetically inclined to love like your family. One of my favorite sayings is the only people in this world you can truly love and hate at the same time are your relatives, because to not love them for bringing you into this world, caring for you, and giving you one half of your outlook on the world(the other half coming from your environment), would in most cases seem utterly insane to most people.
[/quote]
That's not a genetic thing. Today, we may be socially obliged to care about our parents, but if your parents abused you, how would you have felt about them? Or maybe your grandparents or foster parents raised you, and you've never met your parents. You are certainly not [b]genetically[/b] inclined to love family, it's just a common social circumstance.

In any case, on the actual topic; In my opinion, it depends on who you are and how you think, and also on the conditions under which you meet the other person.

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[quote name='Grido' timestamp='1296771904' post='78436']
http://www.ehow.com/facts_5655183_love-chemical-imbalance_.html

I believe the "O" you were thinking of is Oxytocin according to the article
[/quote]

Ya that sounds correct. Oxytocin is in stronger concentrations in women where testosterone is higher in men.

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Well here's my opinion on "[u][i][b]LOVE[/b][/i][/u]"(Yes the Bolding, Italicing and Underlining of the word [b][u][i]LOVE[/i][/u][/b] is needed because it's that serious).

In my honest opinion love is an emotion. You can never really pick who you love but you can pick who you want to be with. Those are two different things: 1)choosing the one you love and 2)choosing the one you want to be with. And in most cases the latter is the most common misconception of love.

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[color="#2e8b57"][i]Love is not a feeling, its an act of your will.... What happens when the feeling dies? does that automatically make you stop caring?
Yes love is a chemical reaction, but so is every other emotion and feeling. Pain is chemical reaction (or electrical or both, I cant remember :P ) but stating the fact that it is doesnt make it any less painful!

From what I remember in psychology classes theres different types of love, which are expressed differently. I believe how we express those levels of love is an act of our will.[/i][/color]

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  • 2 weeks later...

Being Valentine's Day proper, I figured I'd weigh in again. I've a question for those of you who readily resign yourselves to being no more than a series of chemical reactions:

To what extent do we control the reactions taking place?

If the answer is, "none at all", then you forfeit all free will and concede to determination. What's more, there can be no meaningfully directed change in personality or opinion, and our behaviors and actions are entirely at the mercy of our every chemically induced emotion.

If the answer is "some", then what limits this control and how is it applied? In other words, why "some" and not "all" or "none"?

If the answer is that we have all or complete control then this allows for free will. Emotions are chemical reactions, but we chose to react or behave a certain way as a result. We can "reprogram" ourselves through this control such that a stimulus that once inspired fear or anxiety could be overcome to instead trigger joy. The reactions taking place are altered by our own choices, our thoughts, opinions, personalities, desires, etc.

So, it is my belief that we aren't subject to the chemical reactions taking place, but rather they are subject to us. Regardless how chemical and "objective" emotional responses are, we ultimately maintain control. There's a level of transcendence there in the mind-body relationship. We are greater than the sum of our parts.

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Words, words, words....
People do not like to consider themselves mere animals - and yet love behaving that way.
They babble about free choice and the only thing they ever choose is 'coffee or tea' on the way downstream :-P

Relationship is a byproduct of multiple hormons, events, and coincidences. Most research show initial attraction is decided within a few minutes (at most); we act upon this stimulus. God's will, love, desire - sifferent names for the same thing :-P Then comes long (well, or short) period of conditioning (and other hormons). To stay here requires a consious effort as distractions are multiple. If I was to call something love it would be that

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[quote name='Malaikat Maut' timestamp='1297713847' post='78854']
Being Valentine's Day proper, I figured I'd weigh in again. I've a question for those of you who readily resign yourselves to being no more than a series of chemical reactions:

To what extent do we control the reactions taking place?
[/quote]

To the extent of biofeedback; emotion is involuntary.
I.e. none normally, but we can train ourselves over time to, for example, lessen the intensity of the emotions we feel.

Emotion and acting on emotion are separate things, though. Don't confuse them.
I could be in love with someone, but realize it would never work out, and not make any passes at the person.


Conscious thought (free will, etc) is far more complicated than emotion; it is still a mystery. So I can't say how much control we have over this. I personally think we are in near-complete control here if we want to be.


@xrieg - do not say "mere" animals. They are more similar to us than you give them credit for."Mere" would be more suited for plants or fungi.

Edited by apophys
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[quote name='apophys' timestamp='1297734438' post='78869']
@xrieg - do not say "mere" animals. They are more similar to us than you give them credit for."Mere" would be more suited for plants or fungi.
[/quote]
Figure of speach in that sentence. As I have not much faith in spirit/ soul etc. I consider human to be nothing more or less than highly evolved animals.

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  • 1 month later...

Love is an emotion but it isn't one that just happens right away.
You may meet your future husband or wife and start off just as acquaintances the more time you spend with a person the closer you get to them.
You may or may not develop a deep affection for them. If you do it is more than likely that it will grow into love.
You can't exactly choose to love someone or not. It just..Happens.
But you can however cut off contact from that person. Sad as it may be. But I know people who would do that in order to kill off that "Petty Emotion" as they put it. So I say blah to those of you who would try the same as them.

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I usually tend to think of love as a verb, an action word, instead of a noun. It is an act, something we manifest through writing letters, sipping cacao together, nurturing, sharing stories under the stars wrapped up in an itchy blanket with moonlight kissing our muddy faces.

And at other times, I tend to think of love as just a four letter word.

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[quote name='Phantom Orchid' timestamp='1301272437' post='81442']
I usually tend to think of love as a verb, an action word, instead of a noun. It is an act, something we manifest through writing letters, sipping cacao together, nurturing, sharing stories under the stars wrapped up in an itchy blanket with moonlight kissing our muddy faces.

And at other times, I tend to think of love as just a four letter word.
[/quote]

So love is just an English worksheet?
Sounds like a teacher of mine...
Well I've stumbled onto something strange.
Think deeply on it. I don't think this stuff out for my brain you know.

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