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Some of my favourite quotes from imaginary clipart figurehead of the Church of the Subgenius, Time Magazine's #1 "Phoney Or Fraud" of the 20th century, the one and only J.R. "Bob" Dobbs:

"Don't just eat that hamburger, eat the HELL out of it!"
"F**k 'em if they can't take a joke, joke 'em if they can't take a f**k!"
"Pull the wool over your own eyes."
"You'll PAY to know what you really think."
"When two or three are gathered in my name, am I not there? Do you not feel my hands in your pockets?"

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Another bunch:

Joel: Ed, are you hallucinating?
Ed: Oh, yeah, but not right now.
[i]Sy Rosen and Christian Williams, Northern Exposure, On Your Own, 1992[/i]

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk.
[i]Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Three Doctors, 1993[/i]

There is no great genius without some touch of madness.
[i] Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD), Epistles[/i]

When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.
[i] Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962)[/i]

In a mad world only the mad are sane.
[i] Akira Kurosawa (1910 - 1998)[/i]

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"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane. "

— John Green (Looking for Alaska)

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A lie goes half way around the world before the truth has a chance to get his pants on.
- Winston Churchill

I want to be sure he is a ruthless son of a bitch, that he will do what he's told, that every income tax return I want to see I see, that he will go after our enemies and not go after our friends.
- Richard Nixon, recorded on tape, May 13th 1971 describing his ideal candidate for IRS commissioner

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright, 1953

1. Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad with power.
2. The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small.
3. The bee fertilizes the flower it robs.
4. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
- Charles Beard, when asked if he could summarize the lessons of history in a short book, said he could do it in four sentences

Give me chastity and continence, but just not now.
- St. Augustine

There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful by nature, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

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[quote name='Czez' date='24 March 2010 - 09:55 PM' timestamp='1269467709' post='56865']
Give me chastity and continence, but just not now.
- St. Augustine

Convenient! :P

Few more, because I am in the mood:

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”
[i]Benjamin Franklin[/i]

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them”
[i]William Arthur Ward[/i]

“Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised the whining yelp of complaint and cowardly resolve.”
[i]Robert Burns[/i]

“While others may argue about whether the world ends with a bang or a whimper, I just want to make sure mine doesn't end with a whine”
[i]Barbara Gordon[/i]

“I love the fact that art allows you the freedom to be able to do what you want with no real constraints as to how you can express yourself. There is no real right or wrong, which is one of the main attractions I've had towards painting.”
[i]Jacquelyn Singer[/i]

“Nothing troubles you for which you do not yearn”
[i]Marcus Tullius Cicero[/i]

“In spite of all the yearnings of men, no one can produce a single fact or reason to support the belief in God and in personal immortality”
[i]Clarence Darrow[/i]

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”
[i]Emma Lazarus[/i]

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You got me started :]

Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch. Maybe that's why Miss Crawford always plays ladies.
- Bette Davis

My fate cannot be mastered; it can only be collaborated with and thereby, to some extent, directed. Nor am I the captain of my soul; I am only its noisiest passenger.
- Aldous Huxley

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse.
- Charles V

I have a lifetime appointment and I intend to serve it. I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.
- Thurgood Marshall

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
- Groucho Marx

The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.
- Marcus Aurelius

It's a sorry pie-crust needs a greased pan.
- Irma Rombauer

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"Maybe they know what I know, that the true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. Sometimes four inches will do the job, but to be really sure, I like to have six."
— Laurell K. Hamilton (Narcissus in Chains)

"When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed."
— Laurell K. Hamilton

"Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop."
— Laurell K. Hamilton (Anita Blake)

Edited by Amoran Kalamanira Kol
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[font="Georgia"][size="3"][i]The Mystery that is MD[/i]
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." Albert Einstein

[i] The Beauty that is Loreroot[/i]
"Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful,
more simple or more direct than does nature because in her inventions
nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous." Leonardo da Vinci

[i] To whom it may concern[/i]
"A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker.
A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker." Buddha

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

A dog is a dog unless he in facing you,
Then he is Mr. Dog.
- Haitian Proverb

"Have you anything to declare?"
"Only my intellect." - Oscar Wilde

You should try everything once, except Morris Dancing and Incest.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
- Einstein

For those who want to believe, no proof is needed.
But for those that can't believe, no evidence is enough.

Life is like a spinning top, it goes on and on, and then it stops.

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"En mi casa he reunido juguetes pequeños y grandes, sin los cuales no podría vivir. El niño que no juega no es niño, pero el hombre que no juega perdió para siempre al niño que vivía en él y que le hará mucha falta." *

[b]"I have gathered big and small toys at home, those without I could not live. A boy who doesn't play is not a boy, but a man who doesn't play has forever lost the boy who lived in him, and he will miss him tremendoulsly."[/b]

- Pablo Neruda
(Chilean poet)

* It sounds better in Spanish :)

Edited by Kriskah Arcanu
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When kids hit 1 yr,it's like hanging out with a mini drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh ,cry, urinate,vomit. ~Johnny Depp

At that point I had the RIGHT to remain silent...but I did not have the ABILITY-Ron White

"The test of success is not what you do when your on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."
- General George S. Patton, Jr

"Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you should." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." Abraham Lincoln

"the storm starts when the drops start dropping. when the drops stop dropping, then the storm starts stopping" Dr. Seuss

would like to know who coined the phrase "take it one day at a time". Like two is an option?

Edited by Darigan
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