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I, MAG THE (self proclaimed) KNIGHT OF BACON AND (also self proclaimed) OVERLORD OF GWI AM HUNGRY (yes again).

I NEED YOU AGAIN TO BE IN THE KITCHEN AGAIN, CONQUER THE POTS AND PANS, CHOP THE INGREDIENTS, MAKE THEM YIELD TO YOUR WILL!

YOU WILL HAVE TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU MADE AND PROVIDE ME WITH AN IMAGE, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT I AM SERVED AFTER ALL

I AM HUNGRY BUT I KNOW THAT PERFECTION NEEDS TIME SO I WILL WAIT UNTIL END OF APRIL.

EVERYONE COOKING WILL RECEIVE 5 SILVER COINS.

WINNERS WILL BE ABLE TO PICK FROM A SUPER FANCY, SUPER AWESOME, SECRET STASH OF AMAZINGNESS, THINGS STUFF, REWARD POOL THINGY

 

tldr:

  • cook a dish and make it MD themed
  • describe what you made
  • provide a picture (with name and date please)
  • deadline end of april
  • looking for judges
  • Reward, pick from a pool
  Hide contents

Anni's will be given out too, depending on the amount of participants -> more players -> more crits

 

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I will not stand idle while my brothers suffer! 

Now, I'm not a particularly skilled cook, so I can't do anything fancy, but how about I show you a way of cooking meat? (sry, I couldn't do it MD-themed)

What you need is:

a pan

frying oil

meat

an onion/garlic

tomato sauce

salt&pepper

You start off by grabbing a nice piece of (pork) meat and cut it like so:

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Sprinkle some salt and pepper and let it sink in while you are finely chopping the onion or garlic cloves. Heat the oil, drop the onion/garlic and let it sink in for 20 secs, then drop the meat in the pan. Stir a couple of times in the first 4-5 minutes, adding more salt and pepper. Once done, cover with lid and let it boil/fry for about 15 minutes. 

Come back and assess the situation. If you appreciate it would only need 5-10 minutes to be done, it's time to drop the secret ingredient:

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Mix it well (uniformly) with the meat; it will give it a nice orange hue and add some sourness to the taste (not too much, though). You don't need to put much of the dry tomato sauce. You then let it fry in that until it's ready. Add more spices, if you want to (for example, I add more garlic - this time it will only get steamed a little under the lid).

The end result is something like this:

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I know what some of you might be saying - this is just a cheap beginning-of-a-sauce. It's not a sauce, and it's not trying to be one. A sauce is much richer and tastier; this is a way of cooking meat that I'd call a 'diet' way. First off, you can really watch how much meat you are eating this way; and since it's not particularly tasty, you won't crave for more. I also found it to be useful as a 'filler' in all kinds of food combinations - just add a bit of proteins to whatever you have. You've got staple cereals - no problem; just salad? - no problem; mushrooms or beans? - goes well with it.

If you like how that sounds, you can give it a try. Enjoy!

 

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MaG IS HUNGRY!!!

Then I must make him something…. Hmm… well, we know he likes bacon... how about a massive chunk of bacon?!?!

It must be a nice meal, not a mere bacon sandwich!

Now how to make the food yield to my will? Hmm…

Spoiler

 

First take some baby potatoes and chantenay carrots and stand them next to a pan of increasingly hot water to let them know who’s boss!

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THEN, as those vegetables quake, put them in the hot water and find the biggest chunk of bacon you can and stand it next to a knife, so that it knows not to talk back…

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After scaring it to death by seasoning it with sea salt and black pepper you must cover it in case its outer casing cooks quicker than the inside!

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As we know, large chunks of bacon can be very paranoid indeed, so you must cover it – loosely mind – with tinfoil…

Once this is placed in the oven, we must choose two apples for ripeness and sweetness of taste and CHOP THEM UP!

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Next you must put the apples in a small pan and pour water until the pieces are just covered, and add a tablespoon of sugar. (Two tablespoons if you have a ferocious sweet tooth). Then proceed to drown the apples!

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Switch to the other pan cam!

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Laugh maniacally as the potatoes and carrots dance around in the boiling water. After they are cooked, add them to the pan with the massive chunk of bacon…

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Score the potatoes twice so they have two sword slashes to their sides, and add seasoning of your choice.. Here I have added herbes de provence, salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce and a sprinkle of smoked paprika. As the apples continue to turn to mush, return the raost pan to the oven.

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Now you must act quickly! Cut up onions for your onion gravy and begin to fry very lightly, cook some cauliflower and peas and use the electric hand processer to mush up the remainder of the apples.

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Here, add stock to the onions – I prefer ham and chicken together with massive chunks of bacon, but you may use what you wish. Add a little tomato puree and a dash of Worcestershire sauce and simmer...

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Now take the meat and vegetables out of the oven and marvel at the chaos you have unleashed!

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Here is the finished product, the food has yielded to my will and has become a feast fit for the bacon meister himself!

 

All hail the bacon meister!!!!

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On 4/20/2020 at 9:47 AM, Ungod said:

I will not stand idle while my brothers suffer! 

 

19 hours ago, Ailith said:

MaG IS HUNGRY!!!

Then I must make him something….

great people here *wipes a tear*

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Okay, so I made typical "American I-can't-cook fried sandwich".

It needs (besides an evil mind to commit egregious damage to MaGoHi's arteries):

2 eggs // 2 slices of bread // some cheddar (colby jack works to) // some swiss cheese(or any mellow cheese)/ butter,margarine, or vegetable oil // sausage or bacon (or sometimes beef) // a pinch (or dash, whatever is smallest) of salt  // 1.5 tablespoons of fresh dices bell peppers (or 1 table spoon of diced onions if beef)

1. Basically you start off by heating your pan on the stove (opening your browser)

2. cook your meat until it is brown (get your fingers ready-open forum)

3. Crack open your eggs --> I leave in same pan, because what is heart disease? (This is you taking your mind from outside MD, breaking down your mental barriers, and entering into the realm)

4. Scramble your eggs a little (you don't need to keep your ego defenses up while in the realm)

5. While eggs are cooking, let some of your cheese start to warm to room temperature-->so it is softer

You should lightly spread your butter/margarine/oil over 1 side of each slice of bread Also dice your peppers or onions (You are getting ready to get into the character of your RPC)

6. Put eggs to side with meat. Now, put 1 slice of bread, coated side down on pan <reduce your heat at this stage>Put your sharper cheese down, after cheese begins to melt, put the diced peppers or onions on the cheese (This is you bringing your creature into the NML, you're waking up-I like to imagine every time a player logins they briefly wake up at GoE and then go to last location)

7. Put your egg on top of vegg, and your meat on top of the egg. <you want to hurry at this point, so you don't burn bread> (I have no idea what this symbolizes -checking to see if all of your creatures are dead when you idled in MDP last night?)

8. Put your mellow cheese on top, and the last slice of bread with coating up. When bottom bread is stiff, flip sandwich cook until bread is stiff again(You've checked your inbox now, and forum, you're almost ready to start playing for real)

9. Remove from heat, sprinkle your salt on the bread opposite from the peppers/onions <otherwise the flavor profile is monotonous> -->eat after letting cool for 30 seconds  (Now you can chat in the window, or go back on that hunt/recruit and saccing run that you were in the middle of the night before)

 

10. ENJOY!

This is how you make it. If I can make it, anyone can. I recommend you have some fruit with it, and just water, you don't need anything else that's unhealthy for you at this point.

Please note that I burned mine (I was making coffee and forgot to turn off the kettle) in the pictures (I also ran out of bacon, so I used ham as a lighter meat, though my wife said a dash of sliced chicken or avocado works better)

For those of you wishing to die: substitute the bread for potatoes (read hasbrowns). My wife suggests having fresh celery or grapes on the side so you have a different texture profile and can wash the palate to fully enjoy each, juicy, protein-filled bite.

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Edited by Steno
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Baked Winderwild Breasts with Herb-Fillings and Grasan Strips

* * *

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Abstract:

This simple to make yet astoundingly delicious dish is sure to make your tummy filled with love and joy that you will forget who you are by the time you finished devouring this food. You will have a newfound realization that you are special and will never look back to your old, dull, non-delicious life. Existence will never be the same for you and whoever you dine with.

Let's begin!

 

Essentials:

4 boneless and skinless Winderwild breasts (The taste is better if the bird suffered tremendously before death)

Freshly ground black Lorerootian pepper

Rock salt - ground and without iodine

1/3 cup of Pub whiskey

4 oz. lactating Grasan cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup herbs, loosely minced

1/3 cup Bushy fruit heart, chopped

1 cup shredded resin cheese, divided into 2

A pinch from hell of dried spicy pickle

4 Grasan belly strips, divided into 4 short strips

 

Cooking time: Approximately 60 minutes in total

 

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Note:

Prepare the ingredients like a champ, take time to be a perfectionist with a methodical approach like in the picture above. Pre-heat the cremation chamber to 400 F and prepare a baking tray by lining it with foil. Doing this preparation will save you time instead of going back and forth. Also, clean as you go and it will make your life easier than the previous LHO's who just wanted to help out people.

 

Procedure:

After you've prepared the ingredients, start off with cutting 6 slits across every Winderwild breasts but not too deep, not too shallow either, just enough so you can put filling in them. After that, season with ground salt and freshly ground black LR pepper.

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II After that, get a nice medium-sized container to mix the herbs, half of shredded resin cheese, bushies heart, Grasan cream cheese, ground rock salt and black LR pepper, and a pinch from hell of dried spicy pickle.

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Grasan cream cheese should be softened first, that means that you should probably have it mashed first because the other ingredients will stick to it and you will have a hard time mixing them all together, I dunno, depends on where you buy the cream cheese. I recommend getting it from Arnold, the guy in Willow's Shop, they're usually mix-ready)

Be filthy and use your hands.

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III Stuff this catastrophe into the Winderwild breasts slits - fondle that mother and use your fingers filthyly, alternating it with bacon for each slits. Like dis:

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Beautiful! Now sprinkle the remaining half of the shredded resin cheese on top of these breasts.

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IV Excellent. By this time, your crematorium is probably smoking already, time to put this dish in it and cremate!

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V Get your cup of Pub whiskey and sip. Just because.

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VI After about 30-35 minutes, take them out. Make sure it's cooked through, we don't want you to get infected with Salmonella, we're not done with Covid yet so check. A good rule of thumb is if it's cooked.

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VII Enjoy and have fun with your newfound knowledge about everything in the Universe.

 

Spoiler

4 boneless and skinless chicken breasts

Freshly ground black pepper

Table salt

1/3 cup of Jack Daniel's whiskey

4 oz. Cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup Spinach, loosely minced

1/3 cup Artichoke heart, chopped

1 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese, divided into 2

A pinch of red pepper flakes

BACON STRIPS MAG. BACON STRIPS.

Edited by Lazarus
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I would like to participate too. Everything is prepared for tomorrow.

But I would like to ask if it's ok to enter tomorrow morning?

I though there was time till the end of April, but now I cannot find it and I'm afraid I confused deadline with some other quest 🙄

Edit:

Actually found the deadline 

Edited by Trola
Found the deadline
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3 hours ago, Trola said:

I would like to participate too. Everything is prepared for tomorrow.

But I would like to ask if it's ok to enter tomorrow morning?

I though there was time till the end of April, but now I cannot find it and I'm afraid I confused deadline with some other quest 🙄

Edit:

Actually found the deadline 

xD

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Due to lack of skills and even less experience I chose something simple yet delicious - pieczonki 🥰

Ingredients:

  • couple carrots
  • twice as many potatoes
  • one beetroot
  • 3 onions
  • couple sausages
  • solid piece of bacon
  • bit of lard (optional)
  • salt & pepper
  • cabbage leaves (optional)

Step 1

Chop and cut everything into thin slices. 

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Step 2

Note: I'm using here iron cast pot due to special cooking method, but plain heat resistant pot and oven are just fine

Now place ingredients into pot in following layers. First potatoes, onions, beets, bacon & sausages, salt & pepper and optionally small piece of lard (usually when lean meat used). Afterwards repeat until either you don't have enough ingredients or enough place in pot 😅

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Step 3

Once you finished with stacking layers put on top cabbage leafs (just under pot cover) or thin aluminum foil, and cover everything up. My pot has screws because you know MAG is hungry so more layers = better😂

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Step 4

Rather simple step prepare heat source - either oven (180 degrees C) or plain bonfire.

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Trick here is to put pot on embers(?) not open fire.

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Usually it takes 1:15 hours to cook, but believe me you'll smell when they're ready 🤩

Step 5 - hardest one

Wait until ready

Step 6

Once taken out of the oven or bonfire, mix contents thoroughly.

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Step 7

Enjoy! Smacznego

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This is called Toad in the Hole, with chips, Cauliflower cheese and gravy.

Its super healthy so the bacon knight will like it.

 

First you cook up some batter and place the sausages inside it to cook.

While thats doing you put the chips on, and create a white/cheese sauce. Putting the cauliflower and that into a pot you can sprinkle more cheese onto the top if you wish.

Once served you pour a rather obscene amount of gravy onto all of it.

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I don't know I would finish this quest. 

But a flash idea happened to strike me to finish this: Noodle of Dark MaGoHi

The ingredients are all sweet, sore and crunchy. It's the main flavor of the dish.  Usually it's eaten with ice cubes and  A LOT of peppers. So it's super chili while super cold, just like MaGoHi. 

1. Preparation: 

 - noodle made from black wheat (buckwheat, it's dark). soak it in water.

 - chopped lettuce, sliced cucumber and tomato, an duck egg.

 - chili oil. we use it very often. Just pour the hot oil to smashed peppers. mix the oil with sauce made from vinegar, sugar and a little soy sauce. 

 - I planned to put some slices of apple, pear and beef. But they were ran out of stock. 

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2. Cook:

 - put the noodle into boiled water for just 1 min. not too long or it would be too soft. 

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3. Finalize:

 - put the noodle into cold water several times. 

 - mix the noodle with sauce and vegetable. cut the egg into 2 halves and put them into a MaGoHi shape. 

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 - now you could add some ice, pepper or raisin, whatever you like to make it better looking and more flavor. 

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Suspended Grasan

stuff you need (edible):

Grasan chops with bones (bones are important)

Unidentified plants

Rock salt

Water

stuff you need (tools):

Heat

large spoon functionality thing

Pot

another pot or vessel half the size of the original pot

cloth (or any other filtration device)

 

Start:

Wash your filthy grasan parts and put them in the pot. Add water so it covers the parts. IMG_20200502_135031.thumb.jpg.b90dfe4a91d48dc7641a38177c644c6a.jpg

IMG_20200502_135313.thumb.jpg.a0c2fbf18e73eadbbad4136bfea8673f.jpg

 

Start heat (slow) and wait for foam to build up.  Then remove the foam with the spoonish thing and keep doing it until no more foam. Move the parts also.

 

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Foam cleaned up? Add the Plants and rock salt.

 

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Leave for 6-8 hours shimmering under a lid. Take pictures of the awesomeness.

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Done drooling?

Now remove what meat you can and lay it aside to cool. Pour the remainder of the pot trough the cloth into another vessel. Scavenge the internals of the cloth for any meat and but that to cool also.

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Pour the filtered liquid back to original pot (filtering it once more!). Leave the pot on low heat.

When meat has cooled so a man can touch it remove all bones and rip the meat to small pieces (including the skin, lard, venisons ). Put the boneless herbless meat back to the liquid. Have wife lick the bones.

 

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Heat alittle and stir well. Move the mixture into what ever container you like (the filtering vessel would suffice but maybe use smaller and in multible)

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Wait for it to thaw, store in cool. Serve with solid stuff like mustard, horseradish, vinegar. Wife eats it.

IMG_20200503_001155.thumb.jpg.6cc1c7e44549df4d70ca3800227b74e8.jpg

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7 hours ago, Miq said:

Wait for it to thaw, store in cool. Serve with solid stuff like mustard, horseradish, vinegar. Wife eats it.

This processing method is adopted here nationwide dealing with many raw food. Such as pork skin (the most common), beef, donkeys, fish. I’m so lovin it!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am, frankly, still not satisfied, for reasons you'll all see: despite my numerous efforts, success and perfection still slips away, ever so close, yet so far. This is a dish I wish to eventually master, but until then, I'll have to contemplate with sharing my progress and experiences.

So here be my dish, a simple, humble winderwild egg "omelette", a "mutated", homunculus version of the winderwild

Here be my two... least grotesque creations:

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And, its "hatched" form:

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The "hatching" progress, is as such:

https://imgur.com/a/NBCH9oA

https://imgur.com/a/4bwCiNI

The concept is simple, as a bird, the Winderwild often lays infertile eggs. These eggs are nutritious to feast upon, for a multitude of dishes. But what if one, were to explore, and attempt to create an unliving mimicry of the bird itself? This dish, as I had hoped to learn, was to mimic as such - an attempt to re-capture the beauty of the winderwild, in a somewhat more macabre manner.

The ingredients, are simple. One may only require 3-4 winderwild eggs, and a pinch of salt.

  • The first step, as easy as to hatch a normal winderwild egg itself, is to beat the eggs with salt to taste, in a bowl, until the yolk and the white a fully mixed.
  • The second step, requires a moderately heated pan, about just over one hand in length, and must, through one mean or another, have an appropriate non-stick principle, through a combination of cooking oil, and the coating of the pan itself. This is of vital importance, as one wish not to have the egg glued to the pan during the cooking process.
  • Once the pan achieves a moderate temperature, enough to cook an egg drop on contact, pour the egg into the pan, and whisk away the paper thin layers of cooked eggs. One then shift the content of the eggs to one side of the pan, and slowly roll the egg over into a pouch,

Sadly, even such simple steps, I cannot do. But here, I share the numerous point of failure, and where I had suffered the most, to aid those who wish to recreate the dish

  • First, a good amount of egg, proportionate to the pan size, is of quintessential importance. The cooking process is swift, failures or success determined within seconds. The key idea, is the pan temperature and heat capacity, both of which affect how fast the egg will cook. Too little, and it shall cook too fast, too much, and it shall cook too slow and thick. Neither of which is desirable
  • Second, accuracy and speed. Once the egg is poured, you have up to 20-30 seconds to finish the dish. It cannot be any slower or faster, else it impact directly how the egg is cooked. Whisking a second too much, and you may find your eggs too overcooked to be folded
  • Third, the tools. You shall need not only a good, non-stick, correctly sized pan, that pan must have a gentle slope  as well. A harsh slope plays directly into the shape of the fold, and making it extremely difficult to both fold and shape the egg pouch. The pan must also be able to heat evenly - not just the bottom, but especially the sides. The final phrase of the cooking process focuses entirely on cooking at the side of the pan, and a pan that cannot heat specifically the side will make temperature management much, much more difficult. I, sadly, only have access to a moderately fine pan, one that is non-stick, but has a rather harshly angled, non-heated side.
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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

judged was according to these categories:

 

 

 

 

  • dish complexity
  • presentation
  • description
  • "md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients)
  • creativity

 

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!

 

 

1.LAZARUS:  39/50

 

2.AILITH: 30/50

 

3.DEMONIC GOD : 29/50

4.TROLA:  28/50

4.MIQ: 28/50

6.TISSY: 26/50

7.STENO: 22/50

7.CHEWETT: 22/50

9.UNGOD: 21/50

 

once i remember what prices i had in mind i will let them reach you 😄

 


the detailed points with statments from my trusty judge are hidden here:

Spoiler

UNGOD

 

dish complexity: 5

 

presentation: 5

 

description: 7 - I have never seen someone talk about fried meat in such depth before.

 

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 0

 

creativity: 4

TOTAL: 21/50

AILITH

dish complexity: 7 - I know I struggle with all the different timings doing a roast and such myself.

presentation: 7

description: 8 - Easy to follow and accurate.

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 1 - it has bacon.

creativity: 7 - I have never seen a dish like this before. Some sort of roast?

TOTAL: 30/50

STENO

 

dish complexity: 5

 

presentation: 5 - Bread was a bit burned looking for my taste... I hate burnt toast!!! Should have redone it several times like DG 😉

 

description: 7 - Fairly easy to follow and accurate... if burnt?!

 

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 0

 

creativity: 5 - It is more creative than just fried meat and 5 is my baseline so...

 

TOTAL: 22/50

 

LAZARUS

dish complexity: 7

presentation: 8 - Nice looking dish, if I paid for that, I'd expect that level of presentation!

description: 9 -  Very detailed instruction and interesting description.... certainly most effort put in to the instructions I would say. I am always hesitant to give 10/10... The sauce covered thumbs up pushed it to a 9.

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 8 - Has Winderwild, Grasan, Loreroot spices... bushies and pickles too?!

creativity: 7 - Overall making it MD themed boosted the creativity score to an extent, but it was a somewhat simple recipe.

TOTAL: 39/50

TROLA

 

dish complexity: 6 - It is 'just' a stew but I appreciate the ingredients are... unusual in my opinion.

 

presentation: 9 - I really like the old pot it was cooked in and the fact it was done outside. Sue me!

 

description: 5 - Not too much instruction, but accurately described.

 

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 1 - it has bacon.

 

creativity: 7 - Come on, cooking it in a pot outside with cabbage leaves to cover it?! Extra points from me.

 

TOTAL: 28/50

 

CHEWETT

dish complexity: 5 - Don't lie to me Chewett, I know frozen cauliflower cheese when I see it.

presentation: 7 - I appreciate the generous dosage of gravy. I went to my aunt who did a lovely goose but with next to no gravy! I drank a couple ciders just to choke through the carbs on my plate. Good times.

description: 5- It is toad in the hole, I do question having cauliflower cheese with it. Who started this trend of cauliflower cheese with roasts etc.? I reckon it is a plot by the cauliflower lobby myself. Goes all the way to Westminster.

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 0

creativity: 5 - More creative than my oven tray nights, they tend to just be kiev or chicken dippers. But still. Mixing the batter mix with water pushed this from a 4 to a 5.

TOTAL: 22/50

TISSY

dish complexity: 6 - I cannot season appropriately myself. So it gets an extra point there.

 

presentation: 5 - Would've been nice to see it in a proper bowl!

 

description: 7 - Simple but easy to follow. Accurate too! Also, I like noodles.

 

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 1 - They have your name attached. Why not?

 

creativity: 7 - The extra point here is because you can eat it with ice cubes. I think it deserves the point.

 

TOTAL: 26/50

 

MIQ

dish complexity: 6 - A stew with extra steps. Why not?

presentation: 7 - A nice plate. Very nice accoutrements too. It lost a point because it looks like cat food to me, though. Forgive me, Miq.

description: 6 - Short and easy to follow, if you dare.

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 3 - Has Grasan and I like Grasans.

creativity: 6 - I appreciate the ballsiness of using trotters. I also appreciate not having to eat it.

TOTAL: 28/50

DEMONIC GOD

 

dish complexity: 6 - I appreciate the attempt at omurice. I know the pain of attempting it all too well.

 

presentation: 6 - A bit of mess on the plate, but it is at least on a plate, hence the extra point.

 

description: 6 - I appreciate the in depth instructions.

 

"md topic bonus"(used MD ingredients): 2 - Has Winderwilds. What more could you ask for, except a Grasan of course?

 

creativity: 9 - I appreciate the backstory on the infertile egg etc. From my reading was the only one to do so. Incorporates MD stuff too, even though it is 'simple' omurice. I would have given extra points if it included the mango or mangosteen in the background.

 

TOTAL: 29/50

 


 

 

 

Edited by MaGoHi
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