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Kafuuka

Engineering Torture Results

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Using my own secret approach to fuzzy logic to combine the advice of all judges, I can now announce the top 5 ranking of the torture device creation contest. Obviously those not mentioned will be disappointed. But they too can, for a while, enjoy the torture of the ranked players who will have to wait anxiously for their rewards. Also, I thought it would be funny to make this post as long as possible, so you have to read it all. Remember, all of this will be on the test!

[spoiler]Anonymously regarded as the worst entry: Grim Angel aka Ledah. If you want an explanation why we think so: just ***** google it. In fact, I had plans to make an example out of him (there was a miscommunication and I've been rather busy irl to notice it on time, but feel free to torture Ledah anyway) by using the following scheme:
[u]Sideshow Ledah:[/u]
Ladies and gentlemen, after careful deliberation we have found our first special victim! For the crime of being totally uncreative and blatantly googling, he will star in the special Sideshow Ledah feature of the engineering torture contest. For obvious reasons it is not called Sideshow Bob; that would be plagiarism!
The objective is simple: submit a picture of Grim Angel/Ledah crying and an explanation of how you got him into that state. Bonus points if you get him to say he loves Tree.[/spoiler]

Shocking, isn't it? Next up are the players that managed to somewhat impress all three of us. North Equilibrium and (Zl-eye-f)-nea. You guys beat your mediocre opponents to pulp. Druzik and Observer managed to get good marks from some of us, but Druzik aptly upset it by getting bad marks from n°3. Chad also managed to leave an impression. Dst made a nice comment about each of the participants:

[quote]

Udgard:Hmmm...trying to win me over hey?! Guess what? You're wrong! I'm not a masochist! I'm a sadist! So...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

Z:Nice device but...what about the headless horseman? Or the ones that lost their heads over a girl or boy, woman or man? :D Tzk tzk tzk....you're not being fair! I am the only one allowed to discriminate! So...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! Hmm...see? See? Exactly what I was talking about!

Lifeline: We asked for torturing devices not death sentences! All you did was signing your own death sentence! That's not cool! Or...ok...it will be cool when rigor mortise will take over your body but until then... You're suicidal man!
Oh...and if you ever escape Akasha's and Amoran's punishment...you'll die by my hand! Worst possible death you can imagine!Oh almost forgot...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Aken:Man! You have a razor fetish! Also...no pics? Lazy lazy lazy! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! ps:I'm going to call my mother to cook me a tomato soup


Cryxus:C'mon Cryxus! What happened to walk the plank and a bottle of rum? I was expecting a parrot and some crackers. I was expecting hooks ;) and other piraty stuff (btw:does the word piraty exists?). Plucking an eye out? That's a surgeon's job not a pirate's one! Shish! What if a doctor would come and ask you to let him navigate your ship? Anyway...I have to agree...the amount of pain you can inflict using your method is quite disturbing. But that doesn't prevent me to shout: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

Kempiniukas: When I started reading about your device something sounded familliar...hot, cold, hot cold. At the middle you started to resemble the guy responsible with tortures in hell who got kicked out for being too sadistic. At the end I was sure: YOU ARE THAT GUY! The grabbing of the souls blew your cover! So all I can say is OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Laz:You're discriminating too!!! That's a torturing device for grinders! They are humans too, you know?!! Shish! So..OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Nex:hmmm...I bet a former girlfriend invented that and applied it to you :). Hmm...actually...if I think better all women apply a similar torturing method by asking their husbands/boyfriends/etc tons of questions. The device is replaced by the frequency, amount and sometimes stupidity of questions. I can tell you that it is much more painful because with your device you can at least faint for a couple of seconds. And the public humiliation thingy that is stolen from the same source! How would you feel if youw were called in public "Puppy, little bear, etc etc" by your other half? I must agree...you changed a bit the buttons on the remote control. They usually do something else like: red button:throw plates on tyhe husband/boyfriend, yellow button:no cooked meals fro 2 weeks, blue button:sleeping on the sofa etc etc. Oh...nice addition with the raffle but still.. OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Ledah: you're lame! No imagination there! I am disappointed that's all you came up with! And you call yourself a tree hater! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Aql:Nice but with a major flaw (same as Z's): what if the subject has no head?!!! Damn! Do I need to think at everything! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Aeoshattr:Where are the pics, boy? Where are the pics? Anyway...helmet? Same as Z and Aql...table? yes, nice indeed. Torturing methods? Hmmm...i think you were doing your chemestry homework when you got the idea. They describe exactly how I felt when I had to make my chemistry homework:
-my bones were starting to break like twigs and kidneys were starting to stop (starting to stop :D- nice one hey? )functioning
-i was having hallucinations about getting a bad grade
-i was starting to snap my fingers and bite my nails
-I was having a drink to stop the hallucinations
-after the drink my hole body was paralyzed for some time
-since my paralysis usually happened in the kitchen imagine the cuts i was getting from all the broken dishes.
Oh yeah...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Shadowseeker:I am disappointed. I thought you were going to submit one of your quests. NOTHING can beat those as torturing devices! So...no no no...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!



Observer: I bet you have done this before.You're a suicidal type same as Lifeline. Actually no! You're worse! You picked on MB! Man! You're either a really courageous person or you're insane! Most likely the second part! Mad players lose their heads really fast in the game. And to prove that...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!



druzik:Hmmm...I must confess...your idea is new, simple and even elegant I might say. But too spiritual for me. You must have been a priest in your former life and you cannot escape the...spirituality :D But I can help...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!



Totenkopf: Oh yeah! Internet-o-hoolic!You google to find where you left your glasses 5 minutes ago :D. And you also discriminate! (see pic.1b) Don't you all understand that I am the only one allowed to discriminate? Shish! Skittles? Hmmm...that might work...Torture manual??? Are you kidding me? A MANUAL?? A good tortionist doesn't need one!Nice moves with MD stats but...you RickRoll'D me! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Death Bell: Ughhh...that looks just like one of my beauty saloon visits...strapping to a chair/bench/etc, nail rippers, hair pulling, pain, all sorts of powders and creams made of worst things then chilly. Hmmm...now I wonder...HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS? Got you DB! So...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


North:Fun slide you said? You are right. This is fun! For a masochist! I would have done something else: I would have given the alcohol to the rats first then drop them in a box with the victim then do the wizard trick :D But that's just me. So...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!


Chad:First of all:being blindfolded is not always such a bad thing!Second: screams are not always bad.Third: being tied is not always bad. Hmm...and your torturing device looks also a loot like my visits to beauty saloons (same as Death Bell's). Sometimes I think I experience worst things. And same as Death Bell...OFF WITH YOUR HEAD![/quote]

the list:
1. North Equillibrium
2. (Zl-eye-f)-nea
3. Observer
4. Chad
5. Druzik

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After a long period, the reward was pm'ed to Kafuuka.

Kafuuka has access to 1 shade account, from wich the ctc's will be pméd to the winners by Kafuuka.
Also :

[b][size="3"]warning[/size]:[i][color="#8b0000"] account might be bugged and not fully functional in all its aspects. Its also a NPC so expect different behaviour. Abuse is not allowed, you should respect its shade identity and not mock it. Acc its tradeable, creatures on it can be given as rewards

you can use it as you wish, but if you discover a possible exploit (like endless fights) you should not use but report directly to Mur (or me).

creatures on it might not be fully configured, please understand these are creatures not yet released and there value matters for collection purposes most.[/color][/i][/b]

Have fun.

[size="1"]
(p.s : so much spam on this topic...

Therefor i deleted the spam and the pos counts goes down with :
Chad -2 ; Totenkopf -1, Cryxus-1 ; SS -1 ; Lifeline-1 ; Observer-1 ; Grimangel-1; Druzik -1; North-1)[/size]

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