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Kafuuka

Paper Shaper June 2009 Winners

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[size=2][b][center]We, the Jury Members, proudly present you the winners of the first Paper Shaper contest.[/center][/b][/size]

[size=3][b]Best Overall[/b][/size] 66.5
[indent]Brightshield
[indent]+ original story
+ fluent
+ interesting character
° immediately incorporates MD, yet at the same time it doesn't
- better division between sections could help[/indent][/indent]

[size=3][b]Second Best Overall [/b][/size] 66 (tied)
[indent]Priestess Phantom Orchid
[indent]+ Very good layout
+ music and colours really fit the mood
+ fluently written
+ roleplays well and puts in a lot of effort
- nearly nothing about current adventures in MD
- future plans?[/indent][/indent]

[indent]Phantasm
[indent]+ Simple yet clean layout
+ good literary skills
+ details of your story within MD
+ fragmented style fits the character
+ puts a lot of effort into RP
° characters has many directions it could go, might change entirely
- wanderer/tormented archetype[/indent][/indent]

[size=3][b]4th place Overall [/b][/size] 63
[indent]Tarie
[indent]+ ctrl-f!
+ Clean presentation
+ fun read
° very adaptable
° dream motive
- wanderer archetype[/indent][/indent]

[size=3][b]Fifth place Overall [/b][/size] 60 (tied)
[indent]Kyphis The Bard
[indent]+ clean papers
+ good integration into MD world
+ clear purpose
+ fun story
- amnesia motive
- no bardic achievements mentioned[/indent][/indent]

[indent]Talos salvitore
[indent]+ Good literary skills
+ clean papers
+ excellent integration into MD
° a character that blends in, needs papers that don't stand out
- Shipwrecks and spies aren't unique[/indent][/indent]

[size=3][b]Most stylish/Best layout[/b][/size]
[indent]Tarie[/indent]

[size=3][b]Most Original[/b][/size]
[indent]Nemls
[indent]+ original story and character concept
+ good writing
° shapeshifters and balance? It's hard to tell what your character would be capable of after biting a drachorn, although he might be reduced to a puddle of goo because he bit a drachorn.
- lacks integration into MD: the story ends without MD being mentioned once. What form does your character have now?[/indent][/indent]

[size=3][b]Most Balanced/Integrated into MD[/b][/size]
[indent]Kyphis the Bard [/indent]

[size=3][b]Best Roleplay, adaptability and purpose[/b][/size]
[indent]Phantasm [/indent]

[center]***********************************************************************[/center]

Many thanks go to:
[indent] Kriskah Arcanu - she came up with the idea
Glordamar - for drawing the trophy pictures
Mur - for backing up the contest and increasing the rewards
all participants
[/indent]

Rewards:
[indent] First place overall gets an aged elemental, 10 silver coins and a PS trophy.
Second place overall is tied, so they will each get 7 silver coins and a PS trophy.
The category winners get two silver coins and a PS trophy each.
[/indent]

If any of the participants wants to receive his/her individual score and/or full comments by each of the jury members, send a private mail to [b]one[/b] of the jury members and you will receive it. (The above comments are the abbreviated version since this post is already quite long.)
In order to receive your rewards, please stay at Winds sanctuary when you idle, that way we can easily find you.
Also, Manu mentioned items. It might be a good idea to mention what you want and why. We can't guarantee that it is what you'll get, but it seems worth trying.

For a list of participants, check [post="32711"]here[/post]. This topic is reserved for congratulations, victory shouts and such. For comments on the organization, please check the other thread.

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Woo woo! Congratulations to all of the contestants and ofcourse the winners!

Also, I'd like to say I had a great time judging for the contest. Reading all of those papers was a little tiring, but I really got to know a lot of you much better.

The other judges were also amazing and fun to work with, thanks for the good times Awiiya, Intrigue, and Kafuuka... ESPECIALLY Kafuuka, because you were our fearless leader (ie. he did all of the organization, hard work, and posting).

*edit: because I'm an idiot Edited by Willem RedBeard

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Brightshield

+ original story

Apparently none of you watched He-man and the Defenders of the Universe.

He-man:

Prince Adam possesses the Power Sword, and when he holds it aloft and says the magic words "By the Power of Grayskull! I have the Power!",he transforms from skinnier, average Prince Adam into a tall, muscle buff, blonde hair, handsome man that was later to be known as He-man.

BrightShield:

“PICK ME UP CHOSEN, RAISE ME HIGH AND SAY BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL”

Upon doing so, a great light filled the entire room and an amazing transformation took place. The once medium built, black hair, tanned and average looking cattleherd turned into a tall, muscle buff, blonde hair, handsome man that was later to be known as BRIGHTSHIELD.

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Actually I have watched He-man and when I read the "by the power of greyskull" line I laughed a lot. I think the main thing is that within MD his character and backstory are quite unique. :good:

[quote name='Jester' post='33766' date='Jun 17 2009, 04:59 PM']Apparently none of you watched He-man and the Defenders of the Universe.[/quote]

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Good, at least some people have watched He-man. But still, you can't just rip off He-man like that. Its... He-man. C'mon.

And my main point is that his wording is exactly copied from another source, with no effort to change it. Edited by Jester

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All rewards sent to all the winners.

Except fo the items, that will be Mur's personal reward to all of you :P

[b]Congratulations to all! [/b]

Regards,

K

Edited by Kriskah Arcanu

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It is not my place to defend why I first the contest because it was not I who said it to be so and yet perhaps pride of one's work compels me to say something in this regard.

When I put that line it was my intent to make it sound or look funny for those who know who He-man is. That scene was to show how Berek the Cattleherd is gullible and Shull witty, manipulative and narcissistic. The only reason Shull transformed Berek is because Shull doesnt want a normal looking fella for a bearer (who would if you think you are a thing of perfection? right?). Shull need no power words to transform Berek and Berek's transformation is permanent unlike He-man's. This is my fault for the lack of elaborate explanation in that story (though it was my intent originally to reveal this information to subsequent story)

The idea behind the character is for sure not original, as it was pointed already. BrightShield was inspried from a lot of things - He-man yes, and Marvel's Thor, Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (for the names) and PSONE's Tales of Destiny (mostly by this) but the story is original, imo.

I apologize if this has caused any trouble for any one and also, I am new in roleplaying please bear with my mistakes and please do point them out so I may learn from them.

Sorry it took this long and thank you.


Regards,

BrightShield

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[quote name='BrightShield' post='33783' date='Jun 17 2009, 08:55 PM']I apologize if this has caused any trouble for any one and also, I am new in roleplaying please bear with my mistakes and please do point them out so I may learn from them.

Sorry it took this long and thank you.


Regards,

BrightShield[/quote]

:P No need for an appology BrightShield. Your papers were very well writen, and the single reference to He-man was, as I already said, rather humourous. I believe the scruteny is coming out because people want to see the papers of the person that won. Congratulations again on winning, I think it is well deserved and I really enjoyed your character's story.

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*tucks flowers behind the ears of all the winners*

Congrats to all of you and thanks to all who entered the contest. I personally enjoyed reading all of the papers, got to see a few original things and to be honest, quite a few which weren't quite so original, but had their own unique twists. Those of you who do request the comments from the judges and wish for further explanation on my own, feel free to PM me ingame!

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[quote name='Jester' post='33766' date='Jun 17 2009, 07:59 PM']“PICK ME UP CHOSEN, RAISE ME HIGH AND SAY BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL”[/quote]


It should be " PICK ME UP CHOSEN, RAISE ME HIGH AND SAY BY THE POWER OF GREY[i]CLOTH[/i]"

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[quote name='BrightShield' post='33783' date='Jun 18 2009, 05:55 AM']When I put that line it was my intent to make it sound or look funny for those who know who He-man is. That scene was to show how Berek the Cattleherd is gullible and Shull witty, manipulative and narcissistic. The only reason Shull transformed Berek is because Shull doesnt want a normal looking fella for a bearer (who would if you think you are a thing of perfection? right?). Shull need no power words to transform Berek and Berek's transformation is permanent unlike He-man's. This is my fault for the lack of elaborate explanation in that story (though it was my intent originally to reveal this information to subsequent story)[/quote]

I never read He-man so I did not spot the reference. However I did interpret the story correctly. Shull is manipulative when he commands Berek to pick him up and raise him high. Raising your shield high is an act of pride, but in doing so Berek literally places Shull above him.

I am pleased to hear that you have the intent to further the story and reveal more information. One comment that was made often while reviewing papers, is that stories tend to focus on what happened before a character stumbled into the realm and say little or nothing about what happened afterward. Two exceptions being the ones that do not come from another realm and those that remember nothing from before.
Anyone that reads Kafuuka's papers will notice there isn't much about events before nor after his arrival in it. A lot of information was supposed to be revealed by now, but it is very very easy to get sidetracked or procrastinate and so it was not revealed and thus not incorporated into the papers yet... and that is at 192 active days...

Also, if anyone wants to discuss the nature of originality, style, good integration, character balance or roleplay, [topic="4339"]I refer to this thread.[/topic] After all, is there anything truly original? Something that is not influenced by anything previously read or witnessed? Or is it enough to not have been done in MD before, or to have at least 5 different sources of inspiration?

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Yes! *feels little proud of self* Ya know little unorginal I was trying to stay away from my usual ideals that working with for book (phoenix kind, bad guys and romance XF), been trying to fix it up but want a growing story. Thanks for input and happy people enjoyed reading! Good job everyone! I hope you guys will continue to read as Tarie changes and grows and movies into her story. Ctrl F for win!

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[quote name='Kafuuka' post='33747' date='Jun 18 2009, 07:57 AM'][size=3][b]Most Balanced/Integrated into MD[/b][/size]
[indent]Kyphis the Bard [/indent]

Rewards:
The category winners get two silver coins and a PS trophy each.
[/indent][/quote]

Hehe, this is what I get for not being able to check these results for so long...
I got my trophy, but I don't seem to have those coins...

Also: Congratulations Brightshield!

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Oh, just to clarify... I did enjoy BrightShield's story, I was just criticizing the judges for putting "original story" as one of the points after that He-man reference.

And since I forgot earlier because I was too busy judging the judges, congratulations BrightShield.

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