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Ungod

Looking for a book

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Years ago, I read a small book (could've been a resume of the actual work, wouldn't know) written by a french guy, on indian philosophy. I used to buy cheap used books from such 'bookstores' arranged in small stuffy kiosks or even in the street.

The book had around 40 pages and i'm proud to say i didn't understand most of it. It was 'too advanced'. Even so, I remember two ideas: one regarding life present in all things, and a strange classification of 'selves', with 7 central selves and miriad of lesse ones. The indian philosophy is highly introspective- some time ago, listening to a course on world philosophy, i was struck by that. 

Anyways, I've been considering my beliefs system lately, nearly falling into madness, reaching a point where i conclude that there is one reality, but which we canmot understand/know at all; that we merely have perspectives; that my intellectual endeavor ends, and it ends in utter defeat and acceptance of life as is, not as perceived. What bugs me is that, although i retain sanity by social standards, i now have to live knowing that all is right and all is wrong, and all that i think is 'untrue', and i can easily disregard yesterday's thought. I think this is called reaching maturity, but you can also call it madness. 

Basically, with each thought, I used to create alternative realities, points of view that went beyond the mere perspective - all in my mind, of course. It comes down to a point where the burden of such perspectives becomes too great, so, naturally, in order to love, i quit it. 

What this means is that you quit your belief system, knowing it to be just another one, not 'the real one'. You're left with residual beliefs, that shape your future life, and you appear all in all 'normal' - but you're one of the old guys now. Those who don't give a fuck about what's right, because they don't know what is right anymore, knowing that they can't know it either way.

All this long introduction for one plea (you know, if you don't have a story...): might anyone per chance know an indian philosophy book that deals with 'the self'? And the selves? 

I just want to know what self i am killing these days; though i should wait some more years and get the answer myself, i've gotten curious. It's refreshing, sometimes, to know what you're doing.

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Indian philosophy is often centered about ideas that revolves around many aspects of the same thing.
Tough pill to swallow if you yourself is not compatible with such beliefs. Philosophy of ancient wisdoms are indeed a good read.
However, it is smart to avoid such finite paths of thoughts because they are, well,  infinite. They stretch without end and you cant step beside that path
because there is nothing to step on. So you just go on and on and each time you take a new path, you start from the beginning.
If you have a spark in yourself for such things, dont force it into molds of already made philosophy. Let it guide you instead, not lead you:)
If you cant resist Indian truths, i suggest you read the works of Antonio de Melo. That guy is like a One Punch Man in that world:D

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