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Aethon

Once upon a time...?

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls (and those in-between or undecided)!

 

          It's time to get up off those derrieres and start your planning!

 

Because yes, you guessed it!

 

          It's time for a new quest!

 

"What is this Quest?"

 

Ah, I'm glad you asked! This is a quest that can be as simple or complex as you choose to make it! 

 

All you must do is create a story! it can be in the form of pictures, a poem, words... why, you could even write the next best selling novel!

 

You may be wondering "Why the quest name?"

 

Well, the name is because your story must begin with "Once upon a time". From there on in you may write or draw whatever story you wish!

 

However.

 

The story must be within the logics and parameters of MD; A story about a completely made up character is a no-no, but a completely made up story about a player? Well...that's absolutely fine!

 

 

"How do I submit my entry?"

 

To submit your entry, you must message it to me so that I may post it here in this thread. Part of the judging will be determined by the reputation of the post. 

 

"How will entries be judged?"

 

Judging shall be done through two methods:

  1. A panel of judges. - If you wish to be a judge please message me either via the forum or in game.
  2. Votes in the general poll. - Please remember to cast your reputation points, good or bad.*

 

"What are the rewards?"

 

1st - 1 WP + 'Dancing Stone'

2nd - Root Warrior + Acoustic Remains Stone

3rd - Teleport to Paper Cabin Stone

 

If you are interested in sponsoring,  please message me either via forum or in game.

 

 

"When is the deadline for submissions?"

 

The deadline for submissions is two months from now: 07/10/15

 

Judging will take place for a further week, meaning the end date of this quest is: 14/10/15 - 00:00ST

 

 

As always,

 

Good luck and have fun! 

Edited by Aethon

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Once upon a time in the far away lands of MDA there was this slightly cracked Master Archivist named Renavoid. He was of average height and a little on the slender side. He used to tell stories and send people on adventures. He would also host amazing parties in the hall of the sun balcony featuring his favorite past time, MATRESS RACING! He had many great accomplishments including creating a whole wing of the Archives. There was also one time he crashed a flying saucer into the house of tainted times. Unfortunaly he became old and faded away was this realm. But his legacy and stories are still around if you know where to look. -MRF

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Tzk tzk tzk tzk...you guys should really start  reading the instructions...

 

 

To submit your entry, you must message it to me so that I may post it here in this thread. Part of the judging will be determined by the reputation of the post.

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Entry 1

 

Once upon a time long gone,

There be a tale o'deathly cults.
Oh, how ghastly were they drawn,
Many stomachs they repulsed.

Time and time again they warned
Not to toy with open flames...
But what was there to be scorned,
'Bout some silly dreadful games?

Smear o'red on a young cheek
Was a mark left forever burnt;
Foul like blood to make you shriek!
Oh, they knew but never learnt.

They knew, they knew oh so well.
Guttingly they chose to bear
The sign o' the primal spell
On display, aiming to scare.

Mauled by lions or wild beasts,
Still a face would be untouched.
Good men were nothing but feasts
To honor no longer clutched.

But they knew, they knew, they did!
That knights they could be no more,
Once red lips would quickly skid
Across their cheek like a roar.

Oh cursed, wretched Sisterhood
Know you what have you now done?
Corrupted men to do no good,
All in the name of spoiled fun.

Ah, shield thy eyes, steel thy heart,
Many horrors lie ahead!
Womanly affairs they'll impart
And over your face they will tread
An ankle! Or maybe a thigh...
Or maybe a hip or more.
Too much! My eyes are all sore!
Such torture, they'd rather die.
Torture you say? You know not
The meaning of it until
Clothes'n'bags you watch by the Mill,
While Sisters bathe and splash about.

Beware, beware, guard your soul!
Of the evil, gruesome Sisters.
Their flesh-eating lipstick blisters
On your face will forever roll.


Entry 2

 

Once upon a time - true story -

Valoryn was called to war.
Say goodbye to kids and wife,
for it's time to fight for glory,
fight for your land, Valoryn!

He stood straight and he stood tall
Then he bid goodbye to all!
Goodbye, home, goodbye, old pipe
I shall miss you in the night,
but it's time for me to go.

Left his cane and left his robe,
And took bow with him, and sword.
One foot wide and two feet tall
Was the sword he dragged behind.
Triggity-doe, triggity-do, I'm missing a rhyme.

On the road, he met a fairy
fair-haired fair fairy
faring in the forest some affairs.
Ah, it's only you, Fintara...
Phin..Fi..Lintara, sorry...

Triggity-doe, triggity-do,
Old Valoryn, how do you do?
Alas, guardian Lintara,
I was called to war today...
Bless this warrior of Root!

Oh, brave knight of rooted strength,
Wish I could bestow on you
A protective ward of leaves.
But alas! I lost my wards
while on an important business.

Oh, fair fairy, where did you
lost those wards? Want me to help?
Lost..not really, more like stollen,
stollen by a knator whelp,
may it get its tonsils swollen!

I don't know where it went...
All that I can give to you
is the blessing of the forest.
...and 30 gold coins I found and a magical sword

and a drachorn to accompany you.

...It's okay...it's the thought that matters...

Bim-bam, bim-bam, everybody fear ol' Val,
as he walked through groves and jungles
with a magic sword that dangles,
and a drachorn by his side,
burning flames from side to side.

Fairy, fairy, on the wall,
who's the toughest of them all?
Get me down and I will tell you...
Yak-brained fool, you let me go?!
I'll just turn you into toad.

Yet, the answer was... Valoryn!
Go and ribbit it at GoE.
Hahahahahahahaha! Oh, supper time!...
Valoryn was going strong
and it wasn't really long

'Till he met a hung-over Zleiphner,
who was only four-legged.
Z has learned from his one-eyed rider
the secrets of giant's mead
and how to use the drunken fist.

Jump and fall and drink the drink,
nevermind liver fatigue,
be the stallion, the steed,
one can always count on in need!
I give you...........Zleiphner!

Humbled by the introduction,
Z swore to help Valoryn in all....
Triggity-doe, trigity-do,
What did you do, Z, what did you do?
Val will put saddle on you!!

Hush, shush, through the bush,
Cut, strike, through the night,
Run, scream, for it seems,
this is no longer Valoryn!
This is no longer Valoryn...

Who is this man,
riding a flame steed,
wielding a flame sword,
annealed in drach's fire,
hunting the deer?

 

Entry 3

 

Once upon a time, when Elementals thrived

When Drachorns were still pure, and Barren Souls alive
A demon made its way into this old world's heart,
And went to change its shape to fit a wicked thought.

The realm began to turn, expanding far and wide
While critters fled around, seeking a place to hide.
Creatures emerged from naught, as if thought into life,
Awaiting for a goal, confusion running rife.

The demon carried on; the earth below it tapped,
A whisper filled the air, and time seemed to have stopped.
New entities arrived, shapeless, and feeling lost;
Sliding around with care, and curious utmost.

The more they crept within this world devoid of sense
The more alive they felt, as questions would condense.
The less questions remained and places left to see,
The less devoid of shape these entities would be.

Some grew to look for wealth, thinking it was the way;
Some knowledge sought instead, to filter out dismay;
Others for power went, victory to degust;
But through this they all fell, by giving in to lust.

The demon had its way; it knew what it brought in;
The curious utmost, destruction's evil twin.
Such is the way it went, this unforgiven crime;
The long forgotten tale, Mur's Once Upon a Time.

 

Entry 4

Once upon a time, in the age of four kings, there was a warrior who didn't fear a fight.

Sir Liberty, who helped create the Knights of the Bell, had the Sword of Dazzling Light.

That order was to stand in the name of all values of the land of Marind Bell, but Sir Liberty was a restless soul.
To guard the peace was not in his nature.
He sought for new battles and boldly went into the face of danger.

Once, he consulted an oracle in underground to hear what enemies await him in the dark.
The oracle, what seemed to be an old woman, brought a bowl of pure water from the fountains of Marind Bell, for it couldn't lie. "Varka is my name, and I will show you your destiny".
She weaved her magic and said the words. Water replied, and as Sir Liberty looked at the bowl, images portrayed his future. Liberty saw himself in reflection, but without his head!
"Where is my nemesis?!", Liberty shouted, only to invoke the barren wasteland, pitch black. Land of Necrovion, portrayed the water, followed by a playful laughter carried by the small waves of the stirred up bowl water.

Liberty pondered for a long while about his fate.
When a new king of Necrovion was crowned, the dark forces seemed to awake. King Jester looked as a true product of the treacherous land. His insanity and mockery of weakness of others paired with the dark reflection of the world that Necrovion portrays.
Old Knight of the Bell was sure, the new king was his foretold enemy, if he could cut his roots before they grow, maybe the prophecy would be swayed, and he would get to keep his head.

He prepared an army to strike hard and deep, but to ensure his odds, he made a pact with a warlord of the far west, Yrthilian, King of Golemus, who always sought for new victories and ways to confirm his might.
Such was Liberty's determination, that he would pay any price to strike at the heart of Necrovion.
But every payment, and every step closer to that heart, he was leaving parts of himself, oaths and values he used to infuse in the Knights of the Bell, now abandoning as a sacrifice for the final blow.

Alas, the forces of dark did not wait.
Liberty's ally was defeated by a trick used to strike him in his own homeland, which left the old knight into facing his enemy only with his own force, already lured in the depths of darkness.
He and his comrades fought bravely, victory was near, but only to make his tragedy larger.
Defeated was Sir Liberty, forced to give up the order of Knights of the Bell into the hands of his enemy.

His folly would bring his own doom to the home of all Marind Bellians, if it wasn't for the great king of the old, Lifeline, warrior and a true thinker, who salvaged the remains and restored the Knights of the Bell, keeping Necrovion out of the ancient fence of the land.
As for Liberty, he was forced to wonder the outlands, disappearing in the mist never to return.

 

Entry 5

 

https://vid.me/38DD

 

 

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Edited by Aethon

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Results!

 

(2nd) Entry 1: Points and feedback.

 

A poetic story created by Aeoshattr.

 

Whilst I enjoyed reading it, I have to agree with judge 2 that it tends to meander on a bit longer than perhaps it could. Sometimes short and to the point poems can say more than a 1000 character essay ever would.

 

The use of language is good though you tended to wander in and out of different writing styles which lost the feel of it for me.

 

Creativity: 13

Uniqueness: 14

Conformity: 12

Flow: 9

Story strength: 10

Voting: 0

 

Total: 58

 

[log=Judges' Feedback]

 

Judge 1:

This story is my favourite of the five, although in terms of enjoyment for a broader audience I would not say it is the best of the five. I personally get a lot of enjoyment because I know the events described very well *chuckle*. I love the use of language, and metaphor, however while it is well used it is lacking in certain regards. Given the subject matter, it would have been fairly easy to adjust slightly to have a subtle baudy undertone while retaining all of it's foreboding and cautionary message. Alternately, the use of more subtle, cross stanza imagery could have helped reinforce the primary narrative elements.

All in all, very well written, but I do think that with a bit more time this could have been a richer piece.

 

Judge 2:

Uniqueness took a small hit because, like so many other entries, it took the form of a poem. However, it was about “the Sisterhood,” and, frankly, I’m surprised someone chose to write about that, so good on the author for that. Sadly, or annoyingly, it took a while to get to its point, so the scores for both could have been higher had the author made the subject more obvious earlier—really, don’t spend 2/3 of your story being vague and only drop the actual subject toward the end. It’s confusing but without a good reason for being so.

The lower score for Conformity is because I saw nothing that really made me think “MD,” though nothing that really put it somewhere else. Again, the first 2/3 of the story is just vague and could be about anything. It’s not until the end that the author places the story within the world of MD.
Flow took a HUGE hit because of the poorly constructed poetry. It was not a pleasure to read. It was clunky. This was clearly meant to have meter, but it failed.
The Overall Story score is low because, again, it’s just so vague, and it doesn’t really contain any characters. It would have been more interesting to read about a specific “Sister” running around the realm, doing what the author claimed, than to read about the Sisterhood in general.[/log]

 

 

(3rd) Entry 2: Points and feedback.

 

Ungod's entry into the competition.

 

First thing I noticed was that the rhyming and timing for this piece was all over the place and lacked structure, that instantly made me enjoy it less than I might have done.

 

The story seemed a little...lost, in itself, jumping from one scene to another with little explanation and caused me to imagine and hyperactive and over-enthusiastic leprechaun being the main character.

 

Other than that (and a few spelling/grammatical mistakes) it's a fun, lighthearted piece that I feel was made good wit (just perhaps not written down so well!)

 

Creativity: 14

Uniqueness: 11

Conformity: 12

Flow: 9

Story Strength: 10

Voting: -4

 

Total: 52

 

[log=Judges' Feedback]

 

Judge 1:

I can see a lot of effort went into this piece - it very clearly wasn't a last minute story. So it is a little bit saddening to have to give the feedback I am going to give, but don't be disheartened, it was still a good effort!

First off, the story lacked cohesion. It's clear the story is about Valoryn, however the fact that it is "about" Valoryn has very little value to the narrative. There is a distinct feel of it being an "A, then B" story, listing events without exploring their actual impact on the characters. Events occured with no relation to prior events, and typically new events would begin with no trigger, or old events actually being resolved.
The poetic elements also need a lot of improvement. I personally am a huge fan of freeform poetry, however the name itself is fairly misleading. Freeform poetry is actually a collection of very specific techniques, although which ones are applied varies from poem to poem - not, however, within a poem itself, typically. While this narrative is presented in poem form, it lacks proper rhythem, rhyming form, idea form, or flow of imagery. While oftentimes writting as a poem can help to enrich a short narrative, in this case it has actually been the biggest detractor to me. It's hard not to feel like this story would have been more enjoyable to read if it had been presented as a typical narrative, rather than a poem.
The idea behind the story is a good one, but the delivery needs a lot of work, I'm afraid.

 

Judge 2:

Okay, this is not as terrible a poetic entry as I thought it would be. The author had fun with rhyme and meter and succeeded more than failed. It definitely has a few parts to smooth out, but the overall tone of it felt whimsical and fun more than a serious attempt at poetry.

Flow took the hardest hit because I feel that there were parts that were supposed to be dialogue, but it wasn’t made clear as to who was saying what. There were three characters, but I don’t know when any specific one was talking, and that’s just not acceptable for a story.
This entry was fun, and clearly set in MD. It was a good attempt at a poetic story.
The only other thing to mention is that I wanted to give Uniqueness a higher score, but with so many poem entries, it doesn’t feel right to do that.[/log]

 

Entry 3: Points and feedback.

 

A poem of old by Asthir

 

Again, another poem, so I can see why perhaps creativity scores are lower than they could be, but otherwise it's a good piece.

 

I would agree with Judge 1 on the most part (especially the rhyming and how it hits the ear).

 

I was sad to see this get few points but I can understand perhaps why.

 

Creativity: 7

Uniqueness: 6

Conformity: 8

Flow: 11

Story strength: 8

Voting: 0

 

Total: 40

 

[log=Judges' Feedback]

 

Judge 1:

This was a well constructed poem, however the story itself was fairly predictable. I do have two pieces of imediate advice - First, in your poem there are a few lines where the rhyming either seems forced and hits the ear wrong, or simply fails to work at all. When writting standard rhyming poetry, try reading your poem out aloud (once you have lines on Both sides of it - sometimes the following line can make a rhym that would otherwise be flat work perfectly). Another way to approach the problem of difficult rhymes is by utilizing Un-rhymes, where you purposely choose a word that causes a pause in the readers or audiences cognitive expectations, generally achieved by useing an uncommon synonym for a common word which would have rhymed (or simply seemed to rhym, as is more often the case) perfectly.

Secondly, you shouldn't have said "Mur". Describe the shape, but do not fill it yourself - there is a certain sense of satisfaction that the audience receives from being able to solve a puzzle, no matter how simple or even if they realize there was a puzzle to solve to begin with, that becomes a detractor if the solution is provided to them instead.
This was a very good, well thought out entry, and I very much look forward to seeing your future efforts.

 

Judge 2:

…I have no idea what this story is about…

It could, and might be, about anything, though at the end it mentions Mur.
I feel like I missed something, though I feel the author missed it even more. To call this entry “vague” is to insult all things vague. It just… it doesn’t go anywhere and it doesn’t really say anything: it’s a collection of words that seem confused to be around each other.
I really want to say more, to encourage the author to keep trying, but I really have no idea what more to say.
I don’t know what this was supposed to be; I don’t know how to improve it.[/log]

 

Entry 4: Points and feedback.

 

This particular piece was submitted by Jubaris.

 

I enjoyed this story the most, I'd say, as it has the feel of one that would be passed down through generations -- perhaps a story that the Legend Speakers may have told.

 

It has a few rough edges here and there but otherwise a simple, but pleasant, tale.

 

Creativity: 10

Uniqueness: 10

Conformity: 15

Flow: 10

Story strength: 13

Voting: -8

 

Total: 50

 

[log=Judges' Feedback]

 

Judge 1:

I enjoyed this sotry. It was one of the easier to read, and for the most part my attention didn't wander. There were certainly moments the story could have been enriched, but it was a good effort for a quick story.

One of the key detractors for the story to me, was the way the story jumped forward without proper resolution to events, or introduction to coming events. The story wasn't generally hampered because of this, but whenever there is a jump in events readers focus also needs to adjust, and these are the moments when audiences will shift focus to something else. A little more care in the buildup and introduction of narrative elements would go a long way towards improving this story.

 

Judge 2:

At least this one wasn’t another poem.

Overall, the story isn’t so much a story as it was a retelling of actual events. Liberty went to war with Necrovion because Jester, or something. The Creativity and Uniqueness took significant hits because of that. Conformity, however, was boosted because it clearly takes place in MD, and the author mentions people and places from the game.
Flow is rough in that there are certain word choices that simply don’t make any sense. It’s like the author wanted to sound creative and such, but it really didn’t work out in the author’s favor. This, and some grammatical errors, really hurt the flow of the story.
In the end, it’s just a rehash of something that happened, and not even a particularly good telling of it.[/log]

 

(1st) Entry 5: Points and feedback.

 

This entry belonged to the one and only....Dstling

 

Whilst I enjoyed the entry I feel that it was a little short and that grammatical and spelling errors could have been fixed, so as to keep a steady flow to the story.

 

Overall it was creative, cute and and enjoyable telling of a historical event -- deserves the points it received.

 

Creativity: 12

Uniqueness: 17

Conformity: 16

Flow: 13

Story: 14

Voting: 2

 

Total: 74

 

[log=Judges' Feedback]

 

Judge 1:

A wonderful choice of medium, was a delight to see in this contest. On top of the presentation, the narrative itself was very well written. I am glad to see that, for the most part, you didn't focus too heavily on narrative elements that didn't progress the story, keeping the audience focused and directing the narrrative flow beautifully.
All of that said, I do think that with more practice the story could still be improved. Some of the choices in language lacked subtlety. Remember - just because you have not written a poem, does not mean poetic elements like imagery and subtle emotive themes should be excluded. Creating a story that evokes emotions without telling your audience what they should feel is difficult, but does become easier with practice.
Good work, and I look forward to seeing your future efforts.

 

Judge 2:

This one wins all the Uniqueness points (well, okay, 9 of them)!

While I really did enjoy a different medium for the story, I knocked off a few points from Flow because of some minor (but repeated) spelling and grammar mistakes. I also knocked Creativity down as not only was the music not a particularly effective choice (I probably could have ignored that, though, had the creator narrated the entry), but because it’s, more or less, a retelling of what actually happened.
Overall, though. this was a solid entry with no real weaknesses, but no outstanding strengths, save for the medium in which it’s told. [/log]

 

Congratulations to Dst, Aeo and Ungod! Your prizes will be distributed shortly!

 

Thank you to Jubaris and Asthir for their awesome entries as well!

 

With that comes a close to another quest and I look forward to seeing you all participate in future quests (...soon)! 

Edited by Aethon

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