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Kiley

Random Quotes

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Well with MD down I thought I would start a topic of funny quotes.  I just heard one on The Big Bang Theory that made me laugh:

 

"You own a smoking monkey?"

 

 

Who doesn't love Sheldon:P

Edited by Kiley

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In Employee Reviews:

 

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

 

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

 

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

 

"This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better we'll be."

 

 

Church Bulletin Quotations:

 

"Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow."

 

"Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community."

 

"Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help."

 

"The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'"

 

"The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."

 

 

Church Anecdote:

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather At the River."

 

(source: http://rinkworks.com)

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Name that quote!!!

 
As you wish...   :P
 
My second quote of course would be:    "The Souffle is not the Souffle, the Souffle is the recipe".
 
or perhaps: "There's no point in growing up if you can't be Childish sometimes"

 
And Tarq, I now must go re-watch BladeRunner. Thanks! :D Edited by Maebius

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Maeb, that would, of course, be from Doctor Who, specifically Clara saying it (well, the first one is her).

 

 

"Everyone step out of the Twilight."

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Maeb, that would, of course, be from Doctor Who, specifically Clara saying it (well, the first one is her).

 

 

"Everyone step out of the Twilight."

 

Gonna go with the movie Night Watch here Grido:P

 

"Temptation is illusion. But the time for trickery is past. In this game, we show ourselves as we really are."

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You've been chasing me your entire life, only to fail now. I think that's the worst thing i ever heard. How marvelous.

 

But, to add a new twist, since Luke didn't feel like:

I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture, and kill them.

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Guest Panthea

"Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder too--day. Mawage, that bwessed awangement, dat dweam wiffin a dweam!"

 

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."

 

Pan

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Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after we stare at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us.

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Not so random, because it is namesake quote - but, still, I thought I'd share.  :)

 

 

"Of our studies it is impossible to speak, since they held so slight a connection with anything of the world as living men conceive it. They were of that vaster and more appalling universe of dim entity and consciousness which lies deeper than matter, time, and space, and whose existence we suspect only in certain forms of sleep — those rare dreams beyond dreams which come never to common men, and but once or twice in the lifetime of imaginative men. The cosmos of our waking knowledge, born from such an universe as a bubble is born from the pipe of a jester, touches it only as such a bubble may touch its sardonic source when sucked back by the jester's whim. Men of learning suspect it little and ignore it mostly. Wise men have interpreted dreams, and the gods have laughed."

Edited by Phantom Orchid

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